Horoscope for Monday, August 12, 2018

Aries | You’ll find your job position no longer so unpleasant this week. Taurus | Your life will unravel, just as you expect it to, and you’ll become one of those reality TV stars…

Horoscope for Monday, August 12, 2018

Aries | You’ll find your job position no longer so unpleasant this week.

Taurus | Your life will unravel, just as you expect it to, and you’ll become one of those reality TV stars who get a reality TV show and then get kicked off for fraud.

Gemini | You may think the world is closing in on you, but that’s not the case at all.

Cancer | You’ll enjoy some prolonged, belated family time this week after announcing to your community that you’ve had a meeting with NASA about defending the Earth.

Leo | From Friday, dateless weddings will be performed without a spouse present. The ceremony, however, may continue with your father present.

Virgo | Mercury’s visit to your birth sign brings a glimmer of hope that at least your location will be safer.

Libra | You’ll learn that running for office is the best way to attract wealthy donors who are willing to throw you into jail.

Scorpio | You should be pleased that animal spirits will rule your life for the next 21 months.

Sagittarius | You’ll learn that you have a beautiful little baby boy on the way in the unlikely event you hadn’t known.

Capricorn | A masked, mysterious man will appear and attack you. You’ll handle it like a real badass, though you could have done a lot better with your drumsticks.

Aquarius | You’ll discover some profound truth about history in a newly unfolding life, after forgetting that you knew it.

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